the end
I graduated today.
I’m gonna be a BROWNIE next year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
So I went on my first admitted students tour. The weather was so beautiful, I wore short shorts and flip flops and for once walking everywhere was something to look forward to. I really really liked the campus, and the people, and the food, and oh my goodness just so many things. My host’s name was Laura and people called her Lu which I thought was pretty adorable and she had a boyfriend who was shorter than her but he was sooo nice and everyone was so great.
I saw Mitchell and Sophia but I still met a lot of people and made a lot of new friends (most of whom I don’t remember but the point is I MADE FRIENDS). My host and Mitchell’s host were good friends I think so we hung out a lot along with the other ‘prospies’ of their friends. We went mattress surfing and played this incredibly ridiculous game called “Llama llama.” So much fun but so incredibly pointless. We also played Ultimate Ninja and I won ^^
We watched a light show too that was pretty overrated but still…it was funny. We meandered around campus and drank in the sunlight and we laughed at each other for getting lost. We teased a girl named Claire about her weird pronunciations (she thinks there is a plural form of “ravioli” lol). We asked the freshmen questions and I met 3 prospies who were considering Brown. We yelled at each other (it was the only way to be heard) at a badly-advertised “ice cream” social and roamed the campus at 11 pm. We gossiped about two prospies who were holding hands on the same day they met. Weirdos.
I argued with Mitchell about the superiority of Brown vs. Dartmouth and lost. I sat in on a biochemistry lecture and understood nothing but managed to stay wide awake the entire time AND answer one of the 2 clicker questions about the Citric Acid Cycle right. I talked to 3 professors, and at least 50 freshmen and prospies.
On the flight back I sat next to Kevin Zhao and I kept him awake for 2 hours. We bonded and it was so whats the word. Serendipitous. So serendipitous. Happy happy day. Except for the parts involving my mother. But that’s a whole ‘nother spiel. What a strange tone with which to end this otherwise sunny post.
So this past week has been pretty darn good.
I saw Anita on Thursday, along with Preston, Kevin, Andrew, Venecia, Emily, and others. The blueberry pancakes were so delicious and it was seriously the best breakfast ever. (“It’s funny cuz he’s brown.” “Chocolate pancakes for the chocolate man.” “Everything is small when you compare it to something else.”)
Thennn we sold out today for KK donuts, bringing up our total this week to 50something boxes. We have so much fundraiser money I am so proud of us :)
And today was the ASS, which was hilarious. I had no idea Curren was so funny!!! And I was so proud of Michael too. Ajay of course was brilliant (and apparently he wants to incorporate “no speaky da engrish” into his next act….I think I feel honored.)
I also got my first acceptance letter. Feels pretty good, even though it’s “just” UW.
On top of all that, we had HSPE and I basically skipped every day. Yep.
But next week I’ll have to go to school at 7:45 again….sigh. Stupid college classes that talk about the exact same thing….
stumbled across this beautiful comment, thought Anita would like it:
“They are ExtraordinHARRY, AmaZAYN, PhenomiNIALL, FabuLOUIS, BrilLIAM, and 1Derful :)”
It’s clever, right???
I don’t think I’ve ever loved/obsessed over a celebrity like I do Harry Styles (probably a lie).
But seriously.
How

Are

You

So

Perfect????

Wahhhh. If One Direction everever comes to Washington, let’s go see them okay?? Okay Anita?????
My daddy visited me for mid-winter break. I showed him my Gaia account (yes, I still use it! I keep coming back to the site….) and asked him to make an outfit for me. This was his creation. I really like it.
Don’t you dare look out your window darling/ Everything’s on fire/ The war outside our door keeps raging on/ Hold onto this lullaby/ Even when the music’s gone—
“You used to be much more…’muchier.’ You’ve lost your muchness.”
(Anyone know where that’s from? Don’t worry, not a super fancy 18th century novel or anything.)
I feel this way a lot.
Was I more outspoken in elementary school?
I think I was always somewhat shy
Somewhat timid
Afraid of what other people would think of me.
From where does confidence come?
Accomplishment?…company?…
…Nature?
I wish I had more natural muchness!
I wish I could take on things I can’t bring myself to do.
Simple things:
Raising my hand when I know the answer or
Asking questions when I don’t
Expressing a dissenting opinion
Being not so aware of myself when I’m talking to people
Why do I think so little of myself? Is my opinion less valuable than the next person’s?
I’m stupid. I’m lazy. I’m annoying. I’m dependent. But at least
I’m
not worthless
(?)
I wish I had done more things.
I want to be much muchier.